Lost memories
by cherrywoodsmoke
Summary: After finding her father dead Alice blocks out the memories of anything before the age of seven.Now her past friends in her beloved wonderland are trying to contact her and get her back into wonderland to stop the evil queen. rated R for future chaptres.
1. personal hell

Alice was breathing fast, her blood pounded in her ears, she was running as fast as she could and the group of kids behind her were still keeping pace. Her long blond hair whipped out behind her. One kid reached out and yanked her to the ground. She and the boy struggled for a moment and he punched her in the eye she yelped . When he pulled back to punch her again she saw something glint in the dying sunlight a pair of sharp gardening shears she reached out a curled her fingers around the handle.

Before the boy could she what she was doing Alice slashed his hand. He yelped and reeled back the other four had finally caught up to them. Alice took the chance and jumped to her feet she backed up but felt a wall behind her. The kids saw this and smiled, the leader pulled out a pocketknife a stabbed her in the shoulder. A punch to the jaw knocked him back, seeing their leader stumble the others fled. He followed.

Alice closed her eyes and ran to her own home in case they changed their minds. The door closed behind her with a satisfying clunk. After seeing no sign of her mother Alice got up to search for food the refrigerator was empty, why did Alice expect anything less her mother had somewhat forgotten she had a daughter after her father's death. Probably with one of her boyfriends again she thought bitterly.

Going into the bathroom Alice caught sight of herself she looked like she gone through hell and back. Her left eye was swollen and dark purple, there were greenish bruises all over her and the blood that had once streamed from the gash on her arm had slowed to a sticky trickle. That would need to be sown up right now.

Alice held the needle over the candle's flame and dunked it in water to cool it down. She threaded the needle and knotted the end, stuffed a rag in her mouth and focused and began to sew her arm. The first in and outs were agony but soon went numb she looked at her work, you'd think a nurse had done. Already dressed in her pajamas she went to sleep instantly. In her dream she saw flashes of things black hair, deranged smiles, and dark green eyes rimmed thickly with eyeliner and mascara.

The voice was slightly icy but the purr made it comforting and familiar._ ''Aliiice''_when the voice drug out her name other people's whispers seemed to join it though she was alone. Soon the eyes were joined by a pair of lips so dark a red they were almost black. The lips began to separate and show two rows of unearthly sharp , glowing white teeth. ''_Alice you must look past your own reflection to see the doorway right in front of you''. _She looked confused by this but this only made it smile wider if possible, it's laughter shrieked out and Alice sat bolt upright in bed drenched in her own sweat.

She pressed the on button at the base of her lamp and bathed her room in the golden glow. Her dark red clock read 4:30. She shrugged she'd have to get up in an hour she might as well stay up. She wandered her way into the bathroom she looked away and out of the corner of her eye saw the smile from her dream. Alice looked back but all she saw was a fifteen year old girl to small for her age with tousled waist length blond hair. _''I need crazy pills ''_ she whispered to herself.

After a warm shower she went back to her room to dress. She pulled out today's outfit a black satin shirt, a black knee length skirt, black/red tights and black combat boots.

Then dragging a brush trough her unruly hair she pulled it into a ponytail with a long black ribbon and went to watch cartoons until her own little piece of hell came. The school bus.

After about an hour her mother shuffled out. Alice took this chance to really look at her mother her own once beautiful blond hair was falling out, her skin was mottled from to much drink, and had wrinkles that should have been out of place on the thirty five year olds face. Her mother saw her staring and growled at her '_'what are you_ _looking at''_ she took a menacing step forward and Alice cringed out of reflex. But instead of getting smacked Alice saw her mother go to pour herself some stiff vodca she took a sip of her drink.

'_'Get off your lazy ass and get to school''_ she yelled. Alice hopped and ran out the door to the bus stop. Things had been like that since her father had died. She leaned against the pole for a moment it only took two minutes for hell to arrive. The kids looked out the windows at her with evil grins on their faces. She was ready for what they dished out she ducked her head and ran up the steps to find a seat they shot spitballs, paperballs, and candy wrappers at her.

Alice took out her walkman and put in her favorite cd, the melody soothed her into her halfway place not to sleep but to her head world where she could hide from the evils of the world. A place where there was soft pink imaginary light, that was what kept her going. What wasthe place's name again she could hardly remember and when strained toonly succeeded in giving herself a headache.

The day flew on from that till she was in the last period class. Ms,Warren droned on about some poem until a few words she spoke caught Alice's attention. _''A person must look past their own_ _reflection to see the doorway right in front of them''_. Alice's head shot up she remembered the words from her dream. Before she could ask who wrote that the bell rang and she was shoved out the door. On the walk home an image flowed into Alice's head, a six year old girl stood in front of an antique mirror said something and vanished.

She gasped the mirror! The same one in her mother's room it had been hung in a corner when her mother had gotten tired of waking up to her reflection. Alice ran home her messenger bag smacking her side. She flew through the door and up the stairs dropping her bag along the way and into her mother's room. She closed the door gently behind her and stood in front of the mirror.

The words flowed back again but no matter what she did her reflection was always in the way. After twenty minutes of trying Alice grew fed up stomped over to her mother's dresser picked up an empty bottle and hurled it at the mirror. Alice looked at what she had done and went over to pull the mirror off the wall if her mother didn't see the damage mabey she could put off the beating. But as she took the mirror down she saw something that shouldn't have been there a hole in the wall just her size. _''Look past your own reflection''_ she whispered to herself a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. With the words she had spoke she crouched down and crawled through the hole and began to fall down the dark tunnel.


	2. Welcome back

Chapter 2

Alice woke up to an intense throbbing in her head and a numb leg. Her bruised and bloody eyelids fluttered open only to be met with darkness broken up now and them by green and pink streaks in the sky. ''Well finally I thought you'd never get up '', a deep voice purred playfully in her direction.

Alice tilted her head towards the person who'd spoken and saw something she hadn't in years. Her once beloved Cheshire. The dark red lips turned up into a crooked grin that had made her instantly question his sanity when she first met him. Alice sat up a leaned painfully against a purple stone wall behind her to get a better look at her old friend. As Alice looked insanity in the face for the first time in years she once again saw the beauty and coldness she had to long forgotten.

Cheshire seemed different now or maybe now it was her who had changed. Long black hair flowed gently past his shoulders as he paced over to her slowly, methodically the orange light of what she thought looked like a streetlamp glimmering on the silver finger armor her wore on his left fore finger that curled into a sharpened tip. Black pants and a hoodie covered his slender frame and his skin looked as if it had not seen the sun in years.

''Alice'', he whispered and stopped walking for a moment to sniff the air. When he recognized the scent the confused look on his face passed he smiled and grinned darkly at her letting his sadism creep out. ''Your bleeding,'' he whispered and slunk his skinny body over to where she sat. ''So then your hurt tough shit we have to go see the Mad Hatter,'' he said a yanked her to her feet. After stumbling about for a minute she stood strait. ''Why are we going to see Mad,'' she asked still slightly dizzy. ''Well actually I'm not quite sure if he's talking to me yet or if he's still from when I told him the story,'' Cheshire said thoughtfully. ''Cheshire what story did you tell poor Mad,'' Alice whispered warily knowing that if Cheshire had managed to get the easy going Mad Hatter angry that the nasty little cat had plotted on it for a while.

''Poor Mad he's the one who tried to kill me and after I tried to enlighten him on a piece of history,'' Cheshire replied putting his hands on his hips as if he were shocked but not managing to keep his evil little grin under wraps.'' What piece of history,'' Alice asked fearing the worst. Cheshire grinned wider. ''Why the Boston tea Party of course,'' he said giggling. Alice put her face in her hand and shook her head.

'' He threw such a fit to I mean he'd been all for hearing the story at the beginning but the moment I told him how they'd thrown the crates into the ocean or set them a flame he leapt up from his chair , screamed in his shrill whiney little voice Blasphemy a chased me around the table and out of his neck of Wonderland with a very menacing looking teapot,'' Cheshire finished smirking at the memory.'' And was if it truly worth it probably having lost your best friend,'' she asked pouting as she followed him into a dark tunnel which would soon lead to Mad. '' So worth it ,'' he said with a malicious joy in his voice and they wandered off to find their tea obsessed friend.


	3. You!

Chapter 3

Though they were still far off, the familiar melody of the unbirthday song was already flowing through the red bushes and black and purple trees. This wasn't how it was suppose to be Alice knew that much, the sky wasn't supposed to seem so dark, the forest not so cold, and the creature walking silently next to her not so weary looking.

"Cheshire," his name came out of her mouth as more of a question than she had intended but when she saw him glance at her out of the corner of his eye decided to go with it. "Do you remember that day when I didn't come back , do you know why I didn't come back," Alice asked softly. Cheshire's spine stiffened at the question and he took on a look of irritation. And just as he began to form a syllable they burst uninvited into the endless unbirthday party.

The Mad Hatter looked up with a first inviting smile then spied Cheshire and began to babble with a new found rage. "You! You! You despicable little beast how dare you even think to to come back here after what you did you you" and the rant began to taper off into curse filled muttering while Cheshire's green eyes glowed with delight.

"Why Mad I missed you to," Cheshire breathed teasingly and fluttered his eyelashes at the infuriated tea junkie. "Smack him Mad smack him" The March Hare goaded his already irritated leader and yelped when Cheshire shot him a death glare. Mad's milky blue eyes which had become frigid and formed into narrow slits showed that he was in no mood for Cheshire's antics. Noting this Cheshire walked over towards The Mad Hatter with certain wariness to his step as if expecting a piece of renegade china to fly at his head any minute, while Mad watched Cheshire with the same distrust.

"Now Mad lets not be rash here," Cheshire squeaked out while carefully watching the Hatter's hand which was now grasping quite a pointy looking knife. "Really Mad I came here to apologize for my behavior the other day," he said seriously. Mad grasped the knife tighter and his eyes widened in fear and Alice could see he most likely held the object out of defense rather than revenge now, cause come on what's scarier than a serious Cheshire.

Cheshire was only a step away from Mad now and had so far managed not to get stabbed. After getting over the initial shock of the apology Mad's iciness melted slightly though he still seemed disbelieving. "Sorry yeah right," Mad repeated the statement and snorted while the March Hare watched all of this in amusement. "Now Mad I really mean it this time I'm very sorry for teasing you," Cheshire replied while he carefully shifted a long stand of Mad's chocolate brown hair out of the way.

Mad still watched Cheshire closely though he had relaxed quite a bit Cheshire then after succeeding in getting his hair behind Mad's ear placed his hand on Mad's maroon velvet covered shoulder. Mad pricked a slim brown eyebrow and grinned wickedly. "Alright I forgive you, and though it kills me to admit, though you were an idiot you were my idiot and I missed you," he said and motioned with the butter knife for Cheshire to sit.

Alice could Cheshire would get vengeance for that comment and waited for Mad to be swallowing some tea when he said it. "So did you notice Alice over there or were you to busy ranting at me," Cheshire asked coolly while buttering some bread. The Mad Hatter and March Hare glanced up in unison and both spit out their tea at the same time, must happen when you spend that much time together Alice thought to herself.

Before she could speak Mad and the crazed Hare launched themselves toward her and swept her up in tight bear hugs. "Dear lord where the bloody hell have you been all this time,'' The March Hare cried out while Mad shoved him aside to get a better look at her. Feeling unwanted March slumped back to his seat and swirled a little silver spoon in his tea while Mad fawned over Alice. "Look at you just look at you, your taller and your hairs a little darker come come sit,'' Mad said and maneuvered her into the chair to his right.

Cheshire watched this and waited to ask Mad about where to find Caterpillar and if Hatter would come with them, the little hookah smoker had not been very high on Mad's favorite list after Caterpillar had gotten high and said that Mad looked like a girl. Mad was at the very least to say not at all pleased with that little tidbit of information. Cheshire decided now was the time to question Mad, if he could manage to get the horny teen to stop cooing and flirting with Alice for five damn minutes.

Cheshire first tried clearing his throat at first quite lightly but Mad was notorious for having a certain disability called SHD or quite bluntly selective hearing disorder. Cheshire was almost to the point where he sounded like he was hacking up a hair ball before Mad decided to notice him. "Excuse me for just one minute Luvs,'' he turned to Cheshire and gave a make it quick look. "Do you happen to know where Caterpillar is and if not will you help us find him," Cheshire asked in a ragged voice considering how torn up his throat must have been." Cheshire questioned. "No and no," Mad replied quickly

"Hey you didn't even think about the second question," Cheshire whined. "Alright fine," Mad huffed and stood up from his chair. Mad stopped and scrunched his face as if thinking hard, curled his yellow gloved fist and rested his forehead on his hand. He held the pose for a moment then unscrunched his face and replied "No," and sat down to drink his tea and talk to Alice.

Cheshire refused to give and decided that if Mad would not do it willing then he would make him do it unwillingly through his weakness his own vanity. " But Mad how else could we manage if we didn't have you along with us, considering how brilliant you are," Cheshire crooned and Mad began to puff up with pride Alice shook her head she couldn't stand to watch the display Cheshire was a horrible kiss up.

"You don't mean that," Mad said his eyes glimmering. "So," Cheshire said and earned an irritated glare from Mad. Alright I'll go with only because Wonderland is in enough chaos without you running around without supervision," Mad replied and stood up. "Wait one minute I have to leave a note for Hare and Dormy," and ran into the house.

Cheshire finished off the tea and threw the cup on the ground with a crash. "Oops," he said giggling and just as Alice was about to chide him she heard the pounding of a hammer on wood. Alice walked over to the door where Mad nailed a note with half a cut in half hammer. It read

Dear March and Dormy,

Sorry for leaving so quickly but I am needed.

Be nice to Dorm Mouse March

And don't touch anything in my room while I'm gone

And you better not wipe you fuzzy bunny ass on any of my

towels I will know! Be back soon.

Love

The Mad Hatter

"Let us go whoa wait for me you," Mad cried trying to catch up to Cheshire who had long ago become bored with waiting and started to follow his kitty gut in the direction where Caterpillar might be. Mad skittered after the cat with Alice in tow and wandered off to find the last member of their little group.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

"Are we there yet," Cheshire whined for the tenth time in the last five minutes. "No," Mad replied calmly though Alice could see he was squinting his eyes in annoyance Cheshire seemed to still have that effect on people. Alice once again heard Cheshire sigh, and , pout ,and huff as he trudged along behind them as if it truly was a burden to walk for a few more minutes to Caterpillar's house.

Through the silence Alice found herself drifting in and out of reality and reliving old memories. She remembered how Cheshire had looked back when she was small, and blushed, she thought of how she'd been in love with him from first sight. She'd fallen into Wonderland by mistake after tumbling into her mother's looking glass. The fall had been shorter back then and instead of stone she'd fallen in blue and purple grass and had been surrounded by black and white roses.

But the beauty around her was meaningless all she had focused on was the slender creature lying in the tall, wild grass propping himself up on his elbows to look at the swirling sky, that was like a painting unable to stop moving. It was a pallet of colors, shades so much brighter and appealing to the sight that the ones of her world were pathetic and dim in comparison. Alice then remembered crawling over on her hands and knees as quietly as a six year old could manage so she could view the stranger in his ethereal beauty.

Cheshire's eyes had stayed glued to the ever changing scheme of colors that was the sky even when Alice was close enough to see the tiny brown freckles and rain droplets that riddled his skin, he even smelled like a summer storm. His eyelids fluttered close and she could see thick rouge red eye shadow and each distinct lash. Even though she was close enough to see all this she crept even closer till she had near crawled on top of him! Right when her face was an inch from his, his eyes popped open again and flashed green at her. Caught off guard Alice yelped and fell back skinning her elbow.

"Are you alright," he said rolling onto his stomach and grinning deviously at her. Even though her arm hurt she nodded her head. He sighed in relief and the tone of his voice lowered. "My name is The Cheshire Cat what's yours oh so curious munchkin," he asked playfully. "It's, Alice," she had replied jaded at being called a munchkin. "Oh, may I still call you munchkin," he had asked tilting his head to the left. Even flat on her butt Alice still managed to stomp her foot. "I'm not a munchkin," she cried and felt her eyes get filmy and herself hiccup. Cheshire's smile died. "It's ok don't cry," his words were soft and wispy like a cool breeze on her face. Her heart froze when he brushed away the one tiny droplet that had leaked from her eye.

"Everyone at home calls me a munchkin, even my friends," she whispered softly, wondering why he had the power to make her feel so at ease. "It's not fun is it," he asked quietly gazing at her. She shook her back and forth as if to erase bad memories of being teased and taunted. "Don't worry, people won't tease you here, not in this place. "What is this place?" he smirked softly. "This is wonderland," he said and sat up and shook stray, forgotten rain droplets from his hair, the rain Alice noticed had been hot and had melted pieces of the sky with it making the droplets a kaleidoscope of swirling colors blending together, and Cheshire had smiled.

"ARE WE THERE YET?" Cheshire cried in an obnoxiously shrill voice. "YES," Mad screamed fully dragging Alice away from her memory of earlier days before Cheshire had become pessimistic and sarcastic, back when he still smiled with warmth. Alice looked up to see a mushroom the size of a two story house , and heard what sounded like a drunken person singing the alphabet inside.

The trio looked at each other and decided that the, who is going in first dilemma would be solved by a game of rock paper scissors. Mad the unlucky one stomped up to the door with Cheshire and Alice in tow and shoved it open. But remembering how dangerously unpredictable Caterpillar was threw Cheshire in first. With a squeal of surprise at being so suddenly air born Cheshire crashed with a heavy thud into a recliner and ended up being flung back into the couch across from it and getting the wind knocked out of himself.

"Well Cheshire is it safe," Mad said peeking around the rounded door frame. Cheshire only managed to suck in some air and end up practically choking to death on dust and pot fumes. "It seems to be come along Alice up stairs," just as they began walking up Chess still gasping Mad turned around to smile at Cheshire. "Oh and Cheshire I'm touched you decided to spare your own safety to go in fist and look out for me and Alice," Mad wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye while Cheshire could only manage at the moment to flip him off.

Treading gracefully around piles upon piles of Caterpillar's crap Mad and Alice starting walking towards where the sounds and smells were loudest, the bedroom. Mad pushed on the door gently at first but soon found something was blocking it, Alice felt Cheshire's presence instantly beside her though she hadn't him come up the stairs. "Need some help," Cheshire asked sing song and sarcastically. Mad evil eyed him, "I bet you that you can't get the door open without breaking a sweat so stop being such an ass pain," Mad said leaning against a wall. "Bet I can," Cheshire replied grinning. Mad waved his hands in the direction of the door.

Cheshire knocked softly. "Caterpillar," he called. "Yes," Caterpillar replied from inside the room. "It's the hookah man," Cheshire said. From inside the room Alice and the rest could hear someone running to the door and who should yank it open with a grin on his face by Caterpillar himself. The moment he saw Cheshire though the grin faded he looked everywhere left to right, up and down, and even behind a smiling Cheshire before relising there was no hookah man. He stared at Cheshire with a sucked up look on his face. "That's just wrong you know that," he said.

"Yeah I know," Cheshire said and smirked. "But I did get you something," Cheshire waved a baggie up colorful weeds at least that's what they looked like to Alice in Caterpillar's face. Caterpillar squeaked with joy and threw his arms around Cheshire only long enough to snatch the bag from Cheshire. "Won't you come in," he said to them all after examining the weeds more closely.

Alice instantly noticed that Caterpillar obviously had pack rat tendencies because things of all kinds lay everywhere. Plastic spoons, hats, random tie dyed shirts and battered jeans lays strewn every which way. Though his room was a mess Caterpillar, he was a sight to behold. His skin was blue tinged and tattooed was only a few shades lighter than an albino, had a dusty quality to it, and his hair was blond and dreadlocked.

"Um go on sit down anywhere", he said and plopped down on his bed and started fiddling with a rather large hookah. Alice took at seat on an old mahogany chest while the guys sank down into a couple of bean bags on the floor. After a few minutes of silence Caterpillar seemed to be becoming nervous. "Is there anything you particularly want he said looking out the window at the already fading orange sun? Cheshire sat up. "We need your help," Cheshire said looking at Caterpillar. "With what," he said in a suspicious voice. "We need your help in destroying the Queen," Cheshire said staring at Caterpillar.

Caterpillar laughed nervously. "Ha ha hilarious now quit trying to mess with my head. "This is no joke we need you Caterpillar you know where everything is in Wonderland from the forgotten ruins of what it used be before it got bigger and the creatures moved on and forgot about it, to the safe havens and spots where the Queen's spies can't even think to tread," Cheshire didn't blink once as he said these words, and the tone of his voice scared Alice it was even to mono tone and tired for the Cheshire she knew now. Caterpillar himself, Cheshire's partner in crime was silent, silent for so long Cheshire looked as if he was about to give up.

"When do we leave," Caterpillar whispered so quietly Alice and the rest barley heard. Cheshire grinned wickedly.


End file.
